February, 2014 | Transitions Intl
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Transitions Intl / 2014 / February
23 February 2014 In Change, Character, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

Don’t Take LIFE For Granted

  Don't Condemn Criticize or Complain This is one of the Human Relation Principles of Dale Carnegie. The simplicity of this statement is complex in itself. It is one of the most difficult to practice especially when things go wrong, you are experiencing a down and out day, and many moments in your life is filled with chaos, suffering and adversities. Take for instance, when a customer service doesn't take action and keeps saying sorry for the inconvenience caused and yet doesn't show any signs of resolving the issue, most of our reaction is to criticize and get angry. There are many such similar events in our life when our patience is tested and we either complain or criticize. If you observe, we criticize, condemn or complain not only about others but also ourselves. How many times have you chided yourself ? It is good to vent out, to seek improvement but we need to be thankful in life. Three years back, after finishing my boot camp, whilst getting down some stairs on my way home, I fell down and fractured my ankle. I realized, how much I missed walking normally, how much I used and needed my ankle. I have had many injuries and accidents and each

22 February 2014 In Change, Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Integrity, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Organizational Leadership By Lalita Raman

Leadership And Compassion

  I had met Victoria recently who had hired me as a coach. Victoria is a highly motivated, energetic, determined and passionate woman in that she is driven by her purpose and vision in life. She is a senior executive with a multi-national firm and she has progressed very well in her career. She is one of the youngest managing directors within her firm and somebody whom people within the firm envied and looked up to. Victoria is a caring and compassionate individual but at the same time very goal oriented and at times in that drive may seem to appear as impersonal. Victoria normally is prompt and punctual. However on this day, she arrived to my office 10 minutes late. She profusely apologized. I observed that she seemed agitated and particularly stressed about something. I accepted her apology, smiled and requested her to take a seat. I allowed her to calm down and I did this by being silent for several minutes. That helped her to calm her nerves and regain her composure. She had a glass of water and she started narrating how her day was, what caused her to be stressed out and the reason for her delay and

22 February 2014 In Character, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

Responsibility Is A Choice

I was at a lobby of a hotel last week waiting for a business meeting and I happened to hear an interesting conversation between a young lady and the guest relations manager of the hotel. As the lady was getting up to see something that the guest relations manager was showing, she collected her belongings at which point the manager mentioned to her,"Ma'am don't worry about your belongings. They are safe." The lady smiled, thanked him and said "I understand sir, but I'd rather be responsible for my belongings and what happens to it instead of entrusting them to someone else." Responsibility, I thought, was well-defined by this lady. Responsibility

21 February 2014 In Uncategorized By Lalita Raman

Rapport – Key To Building Trust

  Rapport is one of the first steps in building trust in a relationship. Talking in terms of other person's interests, being a good listener and encouraging others to talk about themselves enables us to make that connection to others and build a rapport. Rapport however is not static. Even in a trusted relationship rapport is a continuous process. "Every cell in the body is continuously changing. Thoughts and emotions rise and fall away unceasingly. When we're thinking that we're competent or that we're hopeless, what are we basing it on? On this fleeting moment? On yesterday's success or failure? We cling to a fixed idea of who we are and it cripples us. Nothing and no one is fixed. Whether the reality of change is a source of freedom for us or a source of horrific anxiety makes a significant difference. Do the days of our lives add up to further suffering or to increased capacity for joy? That's an important question." ... Pema Chodron Life is a roller coaster and sometimes we struggle with accepting what life throws at us. People and situations are unpredictable and so is every moment that is unpredictable. An essential part of continued rapport is the attitude we

20 February 2014 In Character, Coaching, Integrity, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

How Close Are You To Your Ideal Self?

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman We have our ideal self, the self we want out of life; the motivational core that focuses our hopes, aspirations, dreams, purpose, and calling. It is our source of positive affect that helps the drive for intentional change. This is the self we want to be. How many of us are close to our ideal self? We have our actual self or real self and there is our ought self. Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be and do. Actual self is who we are and what we do. The actual self over time, right from childhood, changes. What happens when our actual self doesn't match the ideal self? That is when the process of reflection and retrospection begins. New Year is a formal step to grow, develop and continue the path of learning and an improvement on our-self versus where we were.Yes, this should be a continuous process but I think New Year is a good time to take stock. A time to ask ourselves how close are we to our ideal self. No, this is not about New Year Resolutions. So how do we get there? 5 key questions to ask - For Full POST REFER

19 February 2014 In Change, Character, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

The Essence Of A Simple Life

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman The sun shines brightly, the sky is blue, the wind blows gently on your face and November-March is the best time to have several dates with nature. I enjoy hiking and being up, close and personal with nature. I went on a hike on Sunday and it was up one of the shortest but steepest peaks in Hong Kong. The path was gravelly with the downhill more challenging than the uphill. With each of these hikes along a gravelly downhill path, I can't help but think about life and the challenging moments she throws at us. I tread the path downhill with care, caution yet overcoming the fear that I will go tumbling down. That is where focus, mindfulness and believing in myself helps a lot. How similar is this to life in the down and out moments? I have also observed that people whom I meet in these hikes are friendly, smiling, willing to help and seem more relaxed and filled with eagerness to reach the top of the hill and explore their own fitness or new routes or adventures. You'll most likely have an exactly opposite experience in the hum drum of the city if you were to

19 February 2014 In Character, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

Live With Hope

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn't want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said,"Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission." Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied,"My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don't do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don't do what

18 February 2014 In Character, Comfort Zone, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

Leadership and The Art of Taking On A Challenge

I go the gym daily and on Sunday I decided to try something different and attended a class called,  Bosu Blast. Trying anything new is challenging but this workout was more daunting than I had expected. As I was trying to balance myself, step in and out of the BOSU ball, I realized that I not only had to maintain my balance but control the right muscles to be able to maintain my stability, use my core, and be quick and coordinated with the music and the rest of the class. Phew, easier said than done. I was lost in the first five to seven minutes, especially on some of the moves and to top the discomfort, I lost my balance and twisted my ankle. At that moment, I decided to control my monkey mind and focus on what I wanted to achieve, learn which muscles I need to control to maintain my balance and yet be agile. Bottom line, I decided not to be spooked by a ball but believe in myself. The workout was for an hour and after adopting the attitude of dare, try, observe, learn, I thoroughly enjoyed the last 40 minutes. No, I was not close to being perfect but I

18 February 2014 In Change, Character, Coaching, Comfort Zone, Communication, Habits, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

Leadership And The Art Of Communication

Last week on Wednesday, I was attending a meeting and one of the conversations was about organizing events where we could bring out the best in Women and show diversity of women by getting those who practice it to share their experiences. Along with this, some of us were of the view that we should combine this talk with some fun, food and frolic. While this conversation was going on, I suggested that maybe we should consider a theme party and before I could finish my statement, I heard a woman who was dominating the meeting till then, cut me off by laughing and saying “oh God, no, I hate fancy dress parties”. For a second or two I was upset but decided to smile. I smiled, because at that moment I had a flash of this particular extract from Pema Chodron’s quotes that I had read the day before. “It’s not life that causes suffering, says Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, it’s our story about life—our interpretation—that causes so much distress. When we practice interrupting the story we’re telling ourselves, and learn to ride the wave of emotions that inevitably come up in life, we can find a new freedom and flexibility in

17 February 2014 In Change, Character, Comfort Zone, Emotions, Integrity, Lead From Within, Leadership, Life, Organizational Leadership, Personal & Professional Development By Lalita Raman

Leadership and Bias

"She is quiet; she has probably nothing interesting to say", "Investment bankers are all extroverts and make a lot of money", "Oh you are Indian; you must have grown up in a caste system", "She is successful and has come up the ranks on the fast path. She must have achieved this because she is a flirt and has used her influence", "A leader is one who manages team and is part of senior management". What do these statements sound like to you? Asian/American, Male/Female, Extroverts/introverts, rich/poor, aggressive/meek is the common single story we hear or are categorized into. You are categorized, stereotyped and generalized and not seen for your uniqueness, for your passions, your interests. Nor do you see others. Bias creeps in our day-to-day life, and communication. This comes from our culture, our exposure or non-exposure, and our experiences. But the real question is do we get so taken in by others beliefs and by our limited experience that we fail to see the uniqueness of the person in front of us. Do we fail to see that one person or a group of people don't represent an entire country or gender? Can Bias be fixed? "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the