Character | Transitions Intl - Part 2
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Four Easy Ways To Let Go Of Judgement

Two weeks back on Friday, when I was walking down to a meeting, I suddenly noticed an old man struggling to balance himself on the four or five stairs down the hill. I immediately stopped and asked him if I could help him and he readily consented. I made sure he was okay and asked him if he needs me to help him further down which he politely refused. He indicated that he will hold the railing down the footpath. I continued to be worried because of the steep slope and occasionally kept turning behind. I noticed he was slowly making his way down. I immediately wondered why would a man at his age risk, going on his own, down such a steep slope. Why can someone not accompany him or why can he not take a different path? He is putting himself at a huge risk of falling by going down such a steep slope, especially when he seemed to be challenged with his balance. Then I stopped in my thoughts and asked myself who am I to pass judgment? I don't know him or his circumstances. →How many times do we judge others and their situation, based on what we see?  My

Three Keys To Be An Impactful Communicator

"This is urgent. So please get it done ASAP" "Can you call between 9 am to 10 am?" "I would like to meet you sometime next week or so". "Can you tell her I called?" "Client is livid, can you look into it when you get a moment, please ?" What is the common problem you see in all of the above communication? Have you been in situations when you have told somebody it is urgent or ASAP and yet your request has not been met within your specified deadline? Has this caused you frustration and increased your stress and overwhelm? However, did you use specific language in your request or your instruction ? Let's take another scenario "I'm not sure I can do this" "I'm sure, I'm going to mess it up and not be able to make that presentation properly" "I'm not going to do this interview well" "I am in no good at public speaking. I suck at making presentations in front of a group of people. Does this form of self-communication sound familiar to you? There are three factors to impactful Communication, those that lead to inspiring and influencing others or what is often known as leadership communication 1. How do you communicate with yourself? Your thoughts lead to your inner talk. Is that empowering or

Don’t Take LIFE For Granted

  Don't Condemn Criticize or Complain This is one of the Human Relation Principles of Dale Carnegie. The simplicity of this statement is complex in itself. It is one of the most difficult to practice especially when things go wrong, you are experiencing a down and out day, and many moments in your life is filled with chaos, suffering and adversities. Take for instance, when a customer service doesn't take action and keeps saying sorry for the inconvenience caused and yet doesn't show any signs of resolving the issue, most of our reaction is to criticize and get angry. There are many such similar events in our life when our patience is tested and we either complain or criticize. If you observe, we criticize, condemn or complain not only about others but also ourselves. How many times have you chided yourself ? It is good to vent out, to seek improvement but we need to be thankful in life. Three years back, after finishing my boot camp, whilst getting down some stairs on my way home, I fell down and fractured my ankle. I realized, how much I missed walking normally, how much I used and needed my ankle. I have had many injuries and accidents and each

Leadership And Compassion

  I had met Victoria recently who had hired me as a coach. Victoria is a highly motivated, energetic, determined and passionate woman in that she is driven by her purpose and vision in life. She is a senior executive with a multi-national firm and she has progressed very well in her career. She is one of the youngest managing directors within her firm and somebody whom people within the firm envied and looked up to. Victoria is a caring and compassionate individual but at the same time very goal oriented and at times in that drive may seem to appear as impersonal. Victoria normally is prompt and punctual. However on this day, she arrived to my office 10 minutes late. She profusely apologized. I observed that she seemed agitated and particularly stressed about something. I accepted her apology, smiled and requested her to take a seat. I allowed her to calm down and I did this by being silent for several minutes. That helped her to calm her nerves and regain her composure. She had a glass of water and she started narrating how her day was, what caused her to be stressed out and the reason for her delay and

Responsibility Is A Choice

I was at a lobby of a hotel last week waiting for a business meeting and I happened to hear an interesting conversation between a young lady and the guest relations manager of the hotel. As the lady was getting up to see something that the guest relations manager was showing, she collected her belongings at which point the manager mentioned to her,"Ma'am don't worry about your belongings. They are safe." The lady smiled, thanked him and said "I understand sir, but I'd rather be responsible for my belongings and what happens to it instead of entrusting them to someone else." Responsibility, I thought, was well-defined by this lady. Responsibility

How Close Are You To Your Ideal Self?

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman We have our ideal self, the self we want out of life; the motivational core that focuses our hopes, aspirations, dreams, purpose, and calling. It is our source of positive affect that helps the drive for intentional change. This is the self we want to be. How many of us are close to our ideal self? We have our actual self or real self and there is our ought self. Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be and do. Actual self is who we are and what we do. The actual self over time, right from childhood, changes. What happens when our actual self doesn't match the ideal self? That is when the process of reflection and retrospection begins. New Year is a formal step to grow, develop and continue the path of learning and an improvement on our-self versus where we were.Yes, this should be a continuous process but I think New Year is a good time to take stock. A time to ask ourselves how close are we to our ideal self. No, this is not about New Year Resolutions. So how do we get there? 5 key questions to ask - For Full POST REFER

The Essence Of A Simple Life

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman The sun shines brightly, the sky is blue, the wind blows gently on your face and November-March is the best time to have several dates with nature. I enjoy hiking and being up, close and personal with nature. I went on a hike on Sunday and it was up one of the shortest but steepest peaks in Hong Kong. The path was gravelly with the downhill more challenging than the uphill. With each of these hikes along a gravelly downhill path, I can't help but think about life and the challenging moments she throws at us. I tread the path downhill with care, caution yet overcoming the fear that I will go tumbling down. That is where focus, mindfulness and believing in myself helps a lot. How similar is this to life in the down and out moments? I have also observed that people whom I meet in these hikes are friendly, smiling, willing to help and seem more relaxed and filled with eagerness to reach the top of the hill and explore their own fitness or new routes or adventures. You'll most likely have an exactly opposite experience in the hum drum of the city if you were to

Live With Hope

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn't want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said,"Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission." Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied,"My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don't do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don't do what

Leadership and The Art of Taking On A Challenge

I go the gym daily and on Sunday I decided to try something different and attended a class called,  Bosu Blast. Trying anything new is challenging but this workout was more daunting than I had expected. As I was trying to balance myself, step in and out of the BOSU ball, I realized that I not only had to maintain my balance but control the right muscles to be able to maintain my stability, use my core, and be quick and coordinated with the music and the rest of the class. Phew, easier said than done. I was lost in the first five to seven minutes, especially on some of the moves and to top the discomfort, I lost my balance and twisted my ankle. At that moment, I decided to control my monkey mind and focus on what I wanted to achieve, learn which muscles I need to control to maintain my balance and yet be agile. Bottom line, I decided not to be spooked by a ball but believe in myself. The workout was for an hour and after adopting the attitude of dare, try, observe, learn, I thoroughly enjoyed the last 40 minutes. No, I was not close to being perfect but I

Leadership And The Art Of Communication

Last week on Wednesday, I was attending a meeting and one of the conversations was about organizing events where we could bring out the best in Women and show diversity of women by getting those who practice it to share their experiences. Along with this, some of us were of the view that we should combine this talk with some fun, food and frolic. While this conversation was going on, I suggested that maybe we should consider a theme party and before I could finish my statement, I heard a woman who was dominating the meeting till then, cut me off by laughing and saying “oh God, no, I hate fancy dress parties”. For a second or two I was upset but decided to smile. I smiled, because at that moment I had a flash of this particular extract from Pema Chodron’s quotes that I had read the day before. “It’s not life that causes suffering, says Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, it’s our story about life—our interpretation—that causes so much distress. When we practice interrupting the story we’re telling ourselves, and learn to ride the wave of emotions that inevitably come up in life, we can find a new freedom and flexibility in