Life | Transitions Intl - Part 2
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Six Ways To Be An Impactful Communicator

Yesterday whilst in my yoga class, the instructor was giving us a specific instruction. She was very clear in her instruction and it so happened that the woman next to me had her left leg in front instead of her right leg. The instructor noticed this and kept repeating her instruction to this woman and only after a good 30-40 seconds that the woman internalized the instruction and did the right thing. I was thinking about this incident on my way back to work and realized that many times at the gym, yoga or even at trainings that I facilitate for various corporates, many participants do not do what has been instructed or requested of them. This happens not because the instructions are not clear or the language not understood but the individual/s concerned are not listening. Their focus is on something else. They are not in the moment. They hear and yet they don't listen. [Tweet "#Listening to #connect happens when you #listen to understand. #communication #EI #leadership"] What does LISTEN mean ? 1.Learn Learn to recognize your shortcomings and accept yourself. Ask yourself, what can you do to bring back focus? Have an open mind and intention to listen. [Tweet "#Listening with an open

Four Mindful Ways To Be More Effective

One of my friends is into mindfulness and has engaged in it for past several years. In almost every conversation with him, I have observed that he gets irritated with something that has happened or something that is about to happen. Yet, he is quick to clarify that mindfulness has helped him and he swears by it. I am not sure why he offers this clarification every time. Mindfulness and courses on mindfulness has grown in geometric progression in the past two years. Anything with a mindfulness angle surely gets noticed. ⇒Are all those who talk about mindfulness and those who promote mindfulness, always mindful ? ⇒How can we be mindful in the time driven world of ours? Does it necessarily involve hours of practice, silent retreats and meditation?⇐ I read an interesting article on HBR that piqued my interest The title of that article was Mindfulness -Search Inside Yourself It talks about "just six seconds of mindfulness" can make you more effective. The crux of this article which caught my attention is that you can do away with the mental baggage, during your day, when you approach each new situation with a present, focused mind. You achieve a calm and agitation free mind by consciously taking one

Three Keys To Be An Impactful Communicator

"This is urgent. So please get it done ASAP" "Can you call between 9 am to 10 am?" "I would like to meet you sometime next week or so". "Can you tell her I called?" "Client is livid, can you look into it when you get a moment, please ?" What is the common problem you see in all of the above communication? Have you been in situations when you have told somebody it is urgent or ASAP and yet your request has not been met within your specified deadline? Has this caused you frustration and increased your stress and overwhelm? However, did you use specific language in your request or your instruction ? Let's take another scenario "I'm not sure I can do this" "I'm sure, I'm going to mess it up and not be able to make that presentation properly" "I'm not going to do this interview well" "I am in no good at public speaking. I suck at making presentations in front of a group of people. Does this form of self-communication sound familiar to you? There are three factors to impactful Communication, those that lead to inspiring and influencing others or what is often known as leadership communication 1. How do you communicate with yourself? Your thoughts lead to your inner talk. Is that empowering or

Leadership And Compassion

  I had met Victoria recently who had hired me as a coach. Victoria is a highly motivated, energetic, determined and passionate woman in that she is driven by her purpose and vision in life. She is a senior executive with a multi-national firm and she has progressed very well in her career. She is one of the youngest managing directors within her firm and somebody whom people within the firm envied and looked up to. Victoria is a caring and compassionate individual but at the same time very goal oriented and at times in that drive may seem to appear as impersonal. Victoria normally is prompt and punctual. However on this day, she arrived to my office 10 minutes late. She profusely apologized. I observed that she seemed agitated and particularly stressed about something. I accepted her apology, smiled and requested her to take a seat. I allowed her to calm down and I did this by being silent for several minutes. That helped her to calm her nerves and regain her composure. She had a glass of water and she started narrating how her day was, what caused her to be stressed out and the reason for her delay and

How Close Are You To Your Ideal Self?

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman We have our ideal self, the self we want out of life; the motivational core that focuses our hopes, aspirations, dreams, purpose, and calling. It is our source of positive affect that helps the drive for intentional change. This is the self we want to be. How many of us are close to our ideal self? We have our actual self or real self and there is our ought self. Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be and do. Actual self is who we are and what we do. The actual self over time, right from childhood, changes. What happens when our actual self doesn't match the ideal self? That is when the process of reflection and retrospection begins. New Year is a formal step to grow, develop and continue the path of learning and an improvement on our-self versus where we were.Yes, this should be a continuous process but I think New Year is a good time to take stock. A time to ask ourselves how close are we to our ideal self. No, this is not about New Year Resolutions. So how do we get there? 5 key questions to ask - For Full POST REFER

The Essence Of A Simple Life

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman The sun shines brightly, the sky is blue, the wind blows gently on your face and November-March is the best time to have several dates with nature. I enjoy hiking and being up, close and personal with nature. I went on a hike on Sunday and it was up one of the shortest but steepest peaks in Hong Kong. The path was gravelly with the downhill more challenging than the uphill. With each of these hikes along a gravelly downhill path, I can't help but think about life and the challenging moments she throws at us. I tread the path downhill with care, caution yet overcoming the fear that I will go tumbling down. That is where focus, mindfulness and believing in myself helps a lot. How similar is this to life in the down and out moments? I have also observed that people whom I meet in these hikes are friendly, smiling, willing to help and seem more relaxed and filled with eagerness to reach the top of the hill and explore their own fitness or new routes or adventures. You'll most likely have an exactly opposite experience in the hum drum of the city if you were to

Live With Hope

Photo Credits : Lalita Raman Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn't want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said,"Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission." Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied,"My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don't do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don't do what

Leadership and The Art of Taking On A Challenge

I go the gym daily and on Sunday I decided to try something different and attended a class called,  Bosu Blast. Trying anything new is challenging but this workout was more daunting than I had expected. As I was trying to balance myself, step in and out of the BOSU ball, I realized that I not only had to maintain my balance but control the right muscles to be able to maintain my stability, use my core, and be quick and coordinated with the music and the rest of the class. Phew, easier said than done. I was lost in the first five to seven minutes, especially on some of the moves and to top the discomfort, I lost my balance and twisted my ankle. At that moment, I decided to control my monkey mind and focus on what I wanted to achieve, learn which muscles I need to control to maintain my balance and yet be agile. Bottom line, I decided not to be spooked by a ball but believe in myself. The workout was for an hour and after adopting the attitude of dare, try, observe, learn, I thoroughly enjoyed the last 40 minutes. No, I was not close to being perfect but I

Leadership And The Art Of Communication

Last week on Wednesday, I was attending a meeting and one of the conversations was about organizing events where we could bring out the best in Women and show diversity of women by getting those who practice it to share their experiences. Along with this, some of us were of the view that we should combine this talk with some fun, food and frolic. While this conversation was going on, I suggested that maybe we should consider a theme party and before I could finish my statement, I heard a woman who was dominating the meeting till then, cut me off by laughing and saying “oh God, no, I hate fancy dress parties”. For a second or two I was upset but decided to smile. I smiled, because at that moment I had a flash of this particular extract from Pema Chodron’s quotes that I had read the day before. “It’s not life that causes suffering, says Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, it’s our story about life—our interpretation—that causes so much distress. When we practice interrupting the story we’re telling ourselves, and learn to ride the wave of emotions that inevitably come up in life, we can find a new freedom and flexibility in

Leadership and Bias

"She is quiet; she has probably nothing interesting to say", "Investment bankers are all extroverts and make a lot of money", "Oh you are Indian; you must have grown up in a caste system", "She is successful and has come up the ranks on the fast path. She must have achieved this because she is a flirt and has used her influence", "A leader is one who manages team and is part of senior management". What do these statements sound like to you? Asian/American, Male/Female, Extroverts/introverts, rich/poor, aggressive/meek is the common single story we hear or are categorized into. You are categorized, stereotyped and generalized and not seen for your uniqueness, for your passions, your interests. Nor do you see others. Bias creeps in our day-to-day life, and communication. This comes from our culture, our exposure or non-exposure, and our experiences. But the real question is do we get so taken in by others beliefs and by our limited experience that we fail to see the uniqueness of the person in front of us. Do we fail to see that one person or a group of people don't represent an entire country or gender? Can Bias be fixed? "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the