Five Keys To Establishing and Building Trust in A Relationship

Last Friday, I watched The Money Monster. There is a scene where Lee Gates (George Clooney) walks out of his studio with Kyle Budwell (Jack O’Connell), a grief-stricken bankrupt viewer who lost his money after a previous tip; in front of him, a sharp contrast to moments earlier where Lee Gates was held hostage by Kyle Budwell. However, with the negotiations that followed between Lee Gates and Kyle Budwell, a certain degree of trust is established.

Since Lee Gates does not want to get shot by the police, who are trying to disarm his bomb, he hides behind, Kyle, with Kyle walking in front of him. Lee  convinces Kyle that the person because of whom Kyle lost his money is there, and they can question him together.

The movie is particularly not interesting but this scene somehow captured my attention because of the rapport that Lee Gates builds with Kyle Budwell who had held him hostage. There is a trust that each of them place on the other, a degree of  belief in each other and their common goal is to find this person on account of whom this grievance was caused.

Trust is an essential part of any relationship be it with your partner, your employer, with your client, taxi driver, in a super market and in every walk of life. The degree of trust in each relationship varies. A majority of issues or concerns, at their core, are related in some way to the issue of trust. Communication or lack thereof, building good relationships are related to how well do we Trust the other party in that relationship.

Trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

What does TRUST involve ?

1.Thoughtfulness

Having or showing heed for the well-being or happiness of others and a propensity for anticipating their needs or wishes is essential in every relationship and the degree of thoughtfulness varies in every relationship. Without thoughtfulness, a relationship doesn’t start. Trust is established with an understanding of others and trying to see things from the other person’s perspective.

2.Respect

Without respect there is no trust and vice versa. In any organization, trust is established and continues when the employees of the organization know that their manager, their leader and those at the helm have concern for them and their well being. The way the managers communicate and listen to their teams needs and concerns, the way the information is disseminated within the organization can add to or corrode trust. A manager is respected when he or she is consistent and committed to taking the actions that he or she has promised to take or do.

Do you keep up your commitments consistently? Your actions will show others your behaviour and whether this behaviour is steady which is essential to build trust with a person, within an organisation and in every walk of life.

3.Unfeigned

Where there is trust in a relationship it is genuine and sincere. When you feign sincerity and authenticity, trust gets broken and the relationship falls apart. Do what you say and be what you mean.  True sincerity is seen in your behaviours and actions.

4.Self-Trust

If you don’t trust yourself, it is difficult to open up to others and trust others. Each of us have to know what we can believe, where we need to be cautious and improve our intent. Sometimes when we get burnt from our experiences, we often find it difficult to restore trust in ourselves. We possibly become negative by blaming ourselves endlessly and start living on tenterhooks and become edgy. You find yourself in a vicious cycle and one of the ways to break this vicious cycle is to believe in yourself and trust yourself.

5.Together

No matter who we are, nothing happens living in isolation. We are social animals and success in our journey happens by co-creating and navigating our journey with people whom we trust.

Rapport is the foundation of a relationship and #trust enables the enhancement of that relationship. Our behaviors and actions have to be such that the Trust we have created in others is not broken.

What are the ways you establish and maintain Trust?

Please feel free to share in the comments box.

Do you struggle with establishing trust within teams? How to speak in a way that people will listen and not get triggered and shut down is key. To learn more about this, please consult me for one on-one coaching, group coaching , facilitation or as a keynote speaker.